Be supportive - Do not say things like "that doesn't sound like something they would say", "I've heard nothing but good things about them" "maybe they meant zyz", "oh they were probably joking". These are dismissal statements.
- The first step is to be supportive and respectful—you have been trusted with sensitive information that requires extreme vulnerability. Being supportive and respectful looks like this: “Thank you so much for trusting me with this information, I know that must have been difficult to share.”
- Your language is very important. It is always inappropriate to make comments that imply that you have the authority and responsibility to identify the truth: statements like "that doesn't sound like something they would say", "I've heard nothing but good things about them" "maybe they meant xyz", and "oh they were probably joking" are dismissal statements. Statements such as “you wouldn’t be the first”, “she deserves what’s coming to her”, or even “I’m not surprised you experienced this” assume guilt. That is not your responsibility nor in your authority to determine—remember, you are there to be supportive and respectful of the person sharing this information with you and to help them navigate to their next steps.